Fighting Fair Guidelines -
DO I WANT TO RESOLVE THE CONFLICT?
Be willing to fix the problem.
CAN I SEE THE WHOLE PICTURE NOT JUST MY OWN POINT OF VIEW?
Broaden your outlook.
WHAT ARE THE NEEDS AND ANXIETIES OF EVERYONE INVOLVED?
Write them down.
HOW CAN WE MAKE THIS FAIR?
Negotiate.
WHAT ARE THE POSSIBILITIES?
Think up as many solutions as you can. Pick the one that gives everyone more of what they want.
CAN WE WORK IT OUT TOGETHER?
Treat each other as equals.
WHAT AM I FEELING?
Am I too emotional?
Could I - get more facts,
take time out to calm down,
tell them how I feel?
WHAT DO I WANT TO CHANGE?
Be clear. Attack the problem, not the person.
WHAT OPPORTUNITY CAN THIS BRING?
Work on the positives, not the negatives
WHAT IS IT LIKE TO BE IN THEIR SHOES?
Do they know I understand them?
DO WE NEED A NEUTRAL THIRD PERSON?
Could this help us to understand each other and create our own solutions?
HOW CAN WE BOTH WIN?
Work towards solutions where everyone's needs are respected.
Be willing to fix the problem.
CAN I SEE THE WHOLE PICTURE NOT JUST MY OWN POINT OF VIEW?
Broaden your outlook.
WHAT ARE THE NEEDS AND ANXIETIES OF EVERYONE INVOLVED?
Write them down.
HOW CAN WE MAKE THIS FAIR?
Negotiate.
WHAT ARE THE POSSIBILITIES?
Think up as many solutions as you can. Pick the one that gives everyone more of what they want.
CAN WE WORK IT OUT TOGETHER?
Treat each other as equals.
WHAT AM I FEELING?
Am I too emotional?
Could I - get more facts,
take time out to calm down,
tell them how I feel?
WHAT DO I WANT TO CHANGE?
Be clear. Attack the problem, not the person.
WHAT OPPORTUNITY CAN THIS BRING?
Work on the positives, not the negatives
WHAT IS IT LIKE TO BE IN THEIR SHOES?
Do they know I understand them?
DO WE NEED A NEUTRAL THIRD PERSON?
Could this help us to understand each other and create our own solutions?
HOW CAN WE BOTH WIN?
Work towards solutions where everyone's needs are respected.
This process would be very helpful in mediating between coworkers, students, parents, and superiors. I know parent conferences in general tend to be heated discussions with a lot of name calling and finger pointing. As a good measure, perhaps all parties should be given this outline to help diffuse and prepare each communicating member for a fair debate.
Whitney,
ReplyDeleteThe fighting fair guidelines is a great resource to use when dealing with conflict resolution. I like how it is step by step and provides a opportunity for the communicators to think about their feelings and thoughts before verbally communicating them.
Hi Whitney,
ReplyDeleteGreat posting. The fighting guidelines compose of great ideas that guide people in conflict resolution. Including both parties ideas and feelings in conflict resolution makes it easier to communicate. I believe that being a mediator is one of the conflict resolution strategy that helps build trust and respect between people. Great points made, if lots of people were educated on such information, the crime and violence would be limited in the word. Thanks for sharing your posting.