Do you find yourself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures? I don't intentionally consider my conversations before I have them. However, I have noticed since studying this topic that I communicate differently with my students than I would with a co-worker. I also communicate differently with the low income community members that I work around than I would with my middle class family or the upper class, educated citizens of the town I live in. If yes, in what ways do you communicate differently? For example, I would never consider having a conversation about problems with my communities pool maintenance with a mother from school who can barely keep her lights on. Cultural sensitivity is being able to identify where some communication is appropriate and some is not. You wouldn't speak to your mother the same way you speak to your best friend.
This clip is from the wildly popular television show
Everybody Loves Raymond. First, I watched the clip without sound recording my thoughts. Then I listened to it with sound and confirmed or denied my assumptions.
Without sound:
Robert sits on the couch eating a banana when a red headed
woman comes in yelling and waving her hands. She leaves and come back waving
her arms around. Then Robert gets up and answers the door, Raymond is there.
Robert and Raymond exchange some words and sit down. Then Raymond checks to see
if the girl is gone. They talk for a little while, Robert seems unhappy. Then
the red head comes back and smiles and chats with Raymond who smiles at her,
she continually smiles and carries on a conversation with the red head. Robert
interjects and her facial expressions change to aggravated. The three of them
carry on a conversation.
Robert and the red head don’t seem to get along, but Robert
doesn’t seem to do anything about it.
With the sound on:
The red head asks why Robert isn’t studying for his cop
exam. She yells at him because they won’t ever have anything nice. She is still
yelling from the other room, for him to answer the door bell that rings.
Raymond comes in and sits with a seemingly depressed Robert. Raymond comes in
and apologizes for something he did yesterday. In comes Joanne, all smiles and
talks to Raymond. She tells him that Robert has a lot of studying to do and Raymond
isn’t the best influence. All while smiling. Then Robert makes Joanne apologize
for saying mean things about Raymond. He tells Raymond that Joanne says mean
things about him all of the time. Robert tells Joanne how unhappy he is and she
says that she wants a divorce.
While I watched the episode without sound I assumed that
Joanne was being nice to Raymond. After listening to the clip with sound I
learned that her smile was dishonest, that she was being sarcastic and was
still making hurtful comments. I also thought that Robert was acting passively
in the conversation, but with sound I learned that he stood up to Joanne and
asked her to apologize.
If I was watching the television show Friends, which I have
memorized, I would have been able to tell what the characters were doing even
without sound. All of my assumptions would be correct because I know the show
so well.
For your blog this week,
think of someone (e.g., family member, celebrity, politician, friend,
or professor) who demonstrates competent communication within a
particular context. What behaviors does this person exhibit that make
him or her effective? Would you want to model some of your own
communication behaviors after this person? Why or why not? When I think of this question I think of the many teachers I know that communicate for a living on a daily basis. As educators it is our job to communicate new information to young minds. If we do not do our job well then the students do not learn and we have to change our way of communicating until they do understand. Not only do we have to communicate new information, we have to communicate expectations. Teacher communicate through email, telephone, notes, speaking, gestures, eye contact, and body language. Additionally, we have to communicate with parents, families, staff, peers, and the community.
